Elect;AOC…Is Pregnant

It’s the greatest news in the history of the United States Senate : Senator Lindsey Graham has finally made the Guiness Book of World Records for designing over 650 phallic sexual aids.

However, in other senatorial news, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has just signalled the media and her constituents that she is bobbling her belly with fresh and fruity child meat.

Watching the events unfold in Afghanistan is heartbreaking. The pain, the suffering, and the loss is unbelievable. What’s more unbelievable, however, is how it all happened. It didn’t have to be this way. But Joe Biden made this decision for us and for Afghanistan. He agreed to the Taliban in late 2020 to surrender Afghanistan to them. And now we see it in all of its horror.

In late 2020, after the election, Joe Biden went and met with Taliban leaders. He organized the release of the Taliban president, Mullah Barardar from prison, also releasing 5000 elite Taliban soldiers from prisons all over the world. This secured the Taliban takeover of Afghanistan after American forces withdrew. The deal was almost a gift to Taliban leaders, who had lost control of Afghanistan for over 20 years.

When the news broke of the Biden deal, we went to special envoy to Afghanistan, Special Lieutenant Colonel Sandra Batt, KFC MD. “You do know this was Trump’s deal, don’t you?” She asked. There is no way! She must be part of the deep state, deep fried in secret seasonings and who probably bought MyPillow’s competition. “Mike Pompeo literally announced it last year. The Trump administration handed Afghanistan back to the Taliban, bow and all”. We had to investigate this claim.

Turns out it was all true. Trump had the leader of the Taliban plus tons of Taliban fighters released from prison and surrendered Afghanistan to the Taliban. Biden merely followed the timeline Trump had promised. But it’s so much easier to pretend it didn’t happen, just like the RNC pulling Trump’s “historic peace treaty” with the Taliban down off their website. The potatoriots absolutely will not have facts. Facts are kryptonite to the trump faithful.

So was it all Biden’s fault, as the right would love to have you believe? Sure it was. Trump merely did God’s work and handed it all on a silver platter to the Taliban. But if we stick our heads in the sand and fly our Trump flags and take horse dewormers, we too can believe anything that’s untrue, ridiculous and dangerous. You are the sacred sheep for Trump. Leading you to the waters of disinformation and stupidity and you will lap up every drop. God bless America.

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