Elect;Obama To Speak On All Networks About Critical Race Theory;

Critical race theory. The three words that inspire fear and terror in the conservative community. I mean, besides “vaccine”, “abortion”, and “anal.”

Now the seething evil of Barack Obama is taking those words into his own mouth and spewing them out like machine gun bullets at the whole country in a broadcast to be carried by every network in America on November the first. Sounds like a real good excuse for internet porn.

Since the advent of the “critical race theory” controversy, the latest in non-issues to wet the pants of every trump-supporting dog-blower still left out there, the former black President has been chomping at the bit to explain it. A subject of limited study since 1974, the course has caused exactly zero casualties, fomented zero homegrown terrorists, and functioned as an “easy A” for students with a particle physics major.

Sandy Batt of the Society to Repair Mental Breaks explains a little about the class and why it has so many really dumb old chicken dicks in a tizzy.

“So critical race theory is simply the study of race relations and how they’ve historically affected politics, justice, and life in America. That’s it. It doesn’t tell ‘some people they’re better than others’, nor is it a secret meeting place for an upcoming ‘Helter Skelter.’ I mean come on. There are courses on Harry Potter Books, and you don’t see gangs of kids running around in robes publicly banging unicorns.”

More information on banging unicorns can also be found at your local public library. Stay in school.

Obama is eager to get the word out and calm the proverbial tits of the population with a five-minute diatribe on the subject. The Fox News, OAN, and Newsmax networks have pledged to run the movie “Missisippi Burning” during the time slot. Please watch safely with your friends and family.

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