Elect;Biden Jokes About Demanding Barron’s Birth Certificate

Joe Biden has spent decades in the Senate as a representative in the public eye, but he isn’t exactly known for a sharp sense of humor, as a recent display of the 2020 presidential candidate’s speaking chops at a local fundraiser revealed.

The sixty-five year old frontrunner opened up the event with a fifteen-minute series of comedic jibes at the incumbent morbidly obese President that’s already gone viral on YouTube and Twitter, including a controversial potshot at First Son Barron Trump and his admittedly questionable lineage. Sandra Batt of Vermont’s Daily Queef Blast provided a partial transcript of the controversial bit :

“What I’d really like to see is that boy of his, his birth certificate. Barron. Wouldn’t you? I mean, if I’m running against someone who’s son is also his grandson, I’d like to know about it folks. Is that out of line? It’s just that I don’t know for sure if you’re qualified to be President if your family tree is shaped like a figure eight, am I right? I mean, not to be too nasty here, people, but have you seen his other sons? They look like someone tried to make action figures out of thalidomide babies. I mean, prove me wrong! I bet that whole clan of the shaved bear have eaten a few dozen soccer players in their time. I’m willing to bet if any one of them actually has a birth certificate, the space under ‘father’ reads ‘pending result of mutation lab.’ Hey, I’m just speaking my mind here. A little locker-room talk. I’m sure Barron’s just fine. Or at least half fine and half whatever that kid from ‘Mask’ was.”

Biden’s caustic routine has upset many pundits on the conservative right who make millions of dollars to subvert logic in order to excuse Trump’s never ending supply of irrational mental blunders and almost psychopathically stupid stances on everything from the pandemic to foreign relations. At this point, representatives of Fox and OAN fear touching the subject for being labelled “twisted” by Trump’s cow-like supporters.

Has Joltin’ Joe pushed the bar too far? Or is he just fighting dumb with dumb? I guess we’ll have to wait until November to find out.

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October 2021

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